The above is a scaled back version of how I feel inside. This morning I awoke in complete melt down mode. The referral is not coming. They are not gonna let me be a Mommy. If it does come then we won't make it through court. Today I was in Burlingtons and I'd picked up a couple of cute Christmas dresses for my Gracie. I almost started to hyperventilate. I started thinking this is bad luck, I shouldn't be shopping for her already. Good grief, never mind the fact that hubby an I have already tricked out her nursery. I attempted to calm myself this evening by looking at other Ethiopian adoption blogs. Oh the beautiful babies! Just about the time I thought I could exhale, I came across the blog of a woman who'd received a referral and on the day before her court case the birth parents changed their minds and took the baby back. I don't think I will ever be able to sleep again. I'm crazed & terrified. As I've said before adoption is not for the faint of heart. I just hope that my head doesn't explode and roll off my body before my baby girl can get to me.
2 comments:
Hey girl -- remember what I told you: GRACIE IS ON HER WAY!!! When you can't find it in you to pray out loud, know that the Holy Spirit listens to your heart and makes intercession on your behalf pleading to the Father . . . and in the meantime I, too, will stand in the gap.
PNF
May you find peace. Your referral for Gracie will come at the perfect time. HIS perfect time. You are soooo close to becoming a mommy. Hang in there!
Pat
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